I was critical of a joke on the back of a matchbox- ” What do you call a midget who writes novels? A short story writer”.
The word “midget” was, of course, in dubious taste. But also, the joke was flawed. In the term “short story writer”, the word short goes with story, as we don’t usually speak merely of story-writers..
A writer who is short can be a short writer, but a short story writer who is short must always be a short short story writer.
Maybe the short short story writer in short shorts (long shorts that he cut short ) … Read More »
The song’s called “I can’t sing”.
Which means you have to talk.
“New York” you say ” New York”.
or “I can’t sing a thing”.
You talk. Musicians play.
You cannot sing- no way.
You talk. That isn’t wrong.
For this is still a song.
A song that isn’t sung.
I know it sounds far flung.
You say “I’m still quite young”.
Or even “Who flung dung”.
Again you say “New York”.
Full orchestra. You talk.
“New Yorkers flung that dung
They’re talked of, but unsung”.
Goes on, but not for all that long.
No hit, but still a song.
A song called “I can’t sing,
I just can’t sing a thing”.
CAN SING OR CAN’T SING..
A singing sound’s … Read More »
Hounded by debt advisors
I had some debts, was helped by DEBT ADVICE…
Now pay so much a month, and that is nice.
But DEBT ADVICE charged more than I could pay,
and told me “Pay in full without delay”.
I needed more advice. I found a mate
who phoned up DEBT ADVICE to make them wait.
Just open and eat
(obvious advice on small trays with chunks of fruit in them).
You just open and eat.
Cut-up fruit is a treat.
And no clingfilm can hide
all the fruit chunks inside.
But you must peel, cut, burst
the covering clingfilm first,
for the clingfilm’s no treat.
It’s the fruit, which then you EAT !
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A word on personal independence payment, replacing disability living allowance. I was 64, one year too young to be awarded life-long DLA ( which I was ) then simply be transferred to PIP, which would seem only fair.
So I have to re-apply for this new benefit. I feel as if I had been awarded a credit card with a £2,000 credit limit for life then told my card had to be cancelled as a new kind of card had been introduced, and having to apply all over again. Or offered a place at Oxford only to have it withdrawn because … Read More »