Flying Seagull

On the ground my feet are

Planted. All this talk and

Nothing done feet planted. Take me

Up with you free this chained

spirit. Cut me free.

Push me into space

Just The current

Takes me, I trust, I can fly.

Just close my eyes.

Can we soar and fly glide and hover, no effort so light.

Wheeeeeh I'm flying just need to flap again

Aaaaaah the air just hang about here

The city is moving all the time

Think I'll check out Chelsea

Sea horse

Am I so cute would you like To be cute in this suite?

My arms and hands have disappeared where's my penis? My feet and legs are one The current takes me where it wants Oooh I'm gonna hit my head on That rock now I'm spinning round If only I could kneel down and vomit Those horrible fish bumping into me I'm spinning again the people Are pointing at me with their big teeth and eyes. Feeling sick again Excuse me while I vomit I can't get out of here!

WORDS LOST
[BIRTHDAY] FEB 2004

Words light,words burning,words black and ashen,acrid cumble into dust you can blow them away,you could gather up the dust of words put them in a jar save them for another day.

Dont give them back, i will not give them away,i have captured them they are mine.

Silence,silence,small,large,envelop your minds dont hurl your words at me they mean nothing to you.

Stabbed and cut bleeding from the inside.

Frantic romantic runs away before you tell me your truth,your words cant change what is me spoken and gone to nowhere.

Walking to the edge of the world i cant look over,close my eyes hold close your clothes to my face the nearest i can get to you.

Brimming overspilling emotions,sobbing and shuddering run away run away to the edge of the world.

Somebody else here i recognize the terror in your red eyes.

They cant see us they look right through our transparent bodies , right through.....

IN MY ROOM ALONE
JAN 2004

Thursday and Friday i sank like stone, any futile attempt fails, i am a ghost.

I dont feel part of all this and nothing to follow.

The bridge,the bus, the river all gone now,all past.

touch me talk to me am i real?

Tell me like me

My smile held in line by small pieces of blue-tac and sellotape.The tree - dead tree without use but to be burnt.

Birds, grey sweeping skies, dark and cold these steps no longer spring but slowly walk slowly.

Future is shredded,feel i am in a steep nosedive spinning creating my chaotic mindspace.

Letting go of all desires is supposed to enlighten one and enlightenment follows into a pure wonderful new world.

No not for me i feel alone upon a dark grey mass of water hardly can see the horizon.

Not a sound in this sterile land.

Wishing phone would ring,where is anyone?

Interrupt this shit life of me.